Simulate First, Succeed Later: The Science of Screwing Up on Purpose
Like these poppies, in our minds, when we’re focused on one thing, we’re necessarily not focused on another. It’s only through experiencing the ebb and flow of what to focus on and when that we begin to exhibit professional expertise. 35mm photo by Matt Kurkjian
Simulations For Professionals
It’s Monday morning, and I can already smell it on me. Stress, and no ordinary kind. I know I’m about to fail epically, in a controlled manner. Even though I know I’m not in any real danger, something is happening, something we haven’t seen other animals do — I’m imagining a context other than reality, and it feels real. Real enough, at least. The capacity for simulation is both a gift and a liability, and most of us are wildly missing the gift half.
This morning, I’m not worried about something I’ve screwed up already – it's the errors I know I’m about to make. I’ve been asked to deliver a whole lot of what I don’t know, and all I can do is my best. Luckily, and very much by design, the stress is all part of an onboarding program and a mock presentation when I deliver new material to my new manager to get feedback and learn from experience. It’s my chance to have a first go while I'm insulated from damaging any client relationships amid any “learning opportunities”.
Take a serious look at any profession with inherent serious risk, and you’ll find simulations. Doctors practice surgery on dummies. Pilots log thousands of hours on flight simulators before lifting off on a runway. Mock trials for lawyers. The examples are endless. The logic is simple: if the cost of failure in the real scenario is too high, you create a safe version of that failure first, and you do it repeatedly, until the risk of failure becomes so familiar that it’s consistently recognized and mitigated.
Hiding From Failure
So here’s a fair question: when was the last time you deliberately simulated something you’d like to be better at and failed?
If you’re like me, it’s probably been a while. And rightfully so – failing is painful. Truly, emotionally, painful. As social animals, we are wired to remember visible wins, both ours and others’. Quiet, private failure doesn't make the cognitive highlight reel. So, we systematically underestimate how much of our own failures contribute to every outcome we admire.
Michael Jordan, widely regarded as the greatest basketball player of all time and one of the highest-performing athletes, famously missed more than half of the shots he ever attempted in the NBA. He didn't become MJ despite his failures. He became who he is in sports and culture because of them.
We have to consciously fight the instinct to avoid failure if we want to succeed. The avoidance feels like self-protection. It feels safe to avoid the pain of failure, but most of the time, it's self-limiting.
Reimagining The Practice Run
One practical recommendation as an I/O psychologist to someone who wants to show up more prepared in their professional life is this: practice public speaking and articulating questions out loud with another person specific to your profession, before the moment that matters.
Ask a friend or colleague for 20 minutes. Give an honest, full-effort run at the speech you have to give, the interview question you keep dreading, the presentation that's coming up at work, or the toast at your cousin's wedding that you've been putting off thinking about. A real attempt. Do not limit yourself and commit to it the way you'd commit to the real thing.
The discomfort you feel is not a sign that something is wrong. It's the whole point. The discomfort is the simulation working, and the more uncomfortable you can make yourself now, the more comfortable you’ll be later.
Debrief after. Ask your partner what you did well and what you didn’t do well. Lead with curiosity with their feedback – you’ll likely learn something about yourself if you truly push it.
Anchor It in Action
If you’ve read this far, you’re interested in learning as much as you can to become a better you. Try this to that end: identify one real work scenario this coming week where you'd benefit from more preparation. Block 20 minutes. Find a willing person. Fail epically, on purpose, in private, by trying something you’ve never tried before and know you can’t deliver perfectly. Distill the experience into one lesson. Write it down, and take what you learned into the real thing.
Aim high, miss high.
Recommended Reading
https://hbr.org/2022/11/using-simulations-to-upskill-employees
https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/failing-well
https://www.usab.com/news/2015/11/how-michael-jordans-mindset-made-him-a-great-competitor
